The Caped Crusader (Catwoman)

Another Batman 3 poster. This time with Eva Green as Catwoman.

(made by me)

The Caped Crusader (Black Mask)

Clive Owen as Black Mask.

(made by me)

McCain/Irony '08

I created a facebook group today. It's called McCain/Irony '08.

Here's a photo I made for it.



Here's the text from the group's description.

This group is dedicated to documenting the supreme love of irony John McCain has shown in his bid for the presidency.

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Some examples of John McCain's delicious sense of irony:

McCain is married to a corporate heiress and owns seven houses, yet he chides Obama for being an out-of-touch elitist. Obama, meanwhile, was raised by a single-mother (sometimes on food stamps) and wouldn't even qualify as rich today by McCain's own standard (over $5,000,000 a year).

-Well played, John.

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McCain uses the slogan "Country First." Yet in his pick for Vice President, he blatantly pandered to a specific demographic, showing more of an interest in electioneering than governing. Obama, however, picked someone who, while he didn't electrify pundits and commentators, is clearly qualified to be Vice President.

-Oh, that is wicked!

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McCain has accused of Obama running on celebrity, when McCain's own career has been built on the cornerstone of being a famous war hero.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAi2cJZSLvo

-Oh, I see what you did there.

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McCain insists that Obama is all talk and no substance. Meanwhile, newspaper headlines are showing the concrete results of McCain's prefered financial policies and he insists that he'll reform the very system he helped implement.

-He's the master. You got me again, McCain!

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The Republican National Convention was a smorgasbord of irony, as McCain received exuberant cheers for supposedly fighting against the very people who were exuberantly cheering. His speech could be summarized thusly:

"I'm going to go change the way they do business in Washington, where I've done business for 26 years, and tell my colleagues, who I've consistently agreed and voted with, that I won't put up with our way of doing things anymore"

-Vonnegut Smonnegut! If he was any more ironic, we'd start to think he was serious!

Think Tinker

I am brilliant!

It's the sleeves, what does it.

Two hilariously outdated films posted in one day? Ooh! Swish!



The narrator does accurately predict portable phones and music players for men. Sadly, looking like Don Quixote in a spaceman suit has yet to become the social norm.

Few Blind People Join Nudist Colonies

This "outstanding news reporter" is really obsessed with porno. Someone should tell him he has a problem.

"I whispered it to you during the movie."

My new favorite film critics.

Stripped Down Nude

somehow, i imagine this made thom yorke proud.


Big Ideas (don't get any) from James Houston on Vimeo.

One Two Three Shoot!

The other day, my improv group had a fantastic workshop rehearsal with a notable Chicago improvisor. The improv scene here is very much an incestuous subculture, so most people wouldn't recognize his name if mentioned. It's at times disheartening to think that the people who have achieved the dizzying heights of improv success that I hope to reach one day aren't millionaire celebrities. They're just really hilarious, artistic individuals living and working in Chicago. And I'm pretty much okay with that. Plus if I'm ever feeling as though I'm wasting my life, there are activities much farther on the fringe

Take the World RPS Society. It's an organization devoted to the cultural sustainment of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Apparently advanced RPS players have tournaments, coaches, strategies, girlfriends, judges, etc.* just like in any other sport!

(Quick note about coaches: the World RPS Society suggests that when choosing a trainer you should "beware of charlatans" who have "never been either a competitor or referee and have no qualifications to speak of." The legit coaches are totally worth the money though!)

As anyone who's spent a few minutes perusing the WRPSS website knows, the biggest advance to ever hit the RPS world is the Gambit. RPS matches are officially played in best 2 of out 3 scenarios and Gambits are predetermined combinations a player can throw. Below are a sample of my favorites.

"A subtle, yet aggressive Gambit. It was the first of the Triple Gambits developed in the early 1890s. The Avalanche is a relentless and devastating offensive maneuver, which requires bravado bordering on recklessness to execute."

"This move took the 1967 RPS World Championships by surprise and is arguably still one of the great surprise offensive moves. The rapid switch from offensive to defensive play can force an opponent into a vulnerable spot."

"Effective use of the Toolbox requires steady hands and steely nerves. Given the puerile popularity of Rock, this Gambit is not suggested for use against beginners."

And my own addition:

The Titular lays it all out on the table. By simply mimicking the order of the game's name, this Gambit is ingenious in it's obviousness. The quick interplay between offense and defense will confuse your opponent into submission. But only the most skilled players will have the balls to see this move through to its iconic conclusion.

*one of these items is a lie

Tell me what he did, Kevin.

This is awesome!



But it's appeasement! Appeasement! Appeasement! If I keep saying Appeasement! he'll think I know what it means! Appeasement! Appeasement! Appeasement, I say!

Roooooobot!

I have to say this looks promising.



Hmmm, a robot alone on an desolate world is disturbed by a foreign spaceship and in turn discovers his own personal aspirations. Why does that sound so familiar?

I'm not complaining. Pixar taking a page out of Nick Park's book gives me high expectations.

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The Savviest Political Minds of Our Time

As usual, Colbert nails it.



He sums up the electability argument against Obama perfectly:
"But what if everyone voted for someone no one would vote for?"

On its face, it's a ridiculous claim. If she's able to show that Obama is such a weak candidate, then wouldn't that make her inability to beat him all the more embarrassing. If someone is unelectable, why would your solution be to nominate the person who lost to him?

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Pithy Campaign Round-up

For those who took an extra big dose of HiberNol last fall and are just waking from their torpor, Slate provides a clever summary of the 2008 Democratic Primary so far. Never has John Edwards' bid for the Presidency been characterized so accurately.



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Where Credit Is Due

I should add a permanent link to Andrew Sullivan's Daily Dish, as I've been stealing a lot of my link's from him. He tends to have the most interesting tangential posts of all the blogs I follow. Here's one that goes to the heart of what I don't like about religion.

http://www.other6.net/

It's a website where people can add "bubbles" that signify God's presence (or meddling) in their lives. Here's a typical example:

"morning phone calls from mom- even when i'm feeling a little alone and tired...my mom never ceases to call and check in on me...helping me to feel a little better about myself :) god bless her."

I don't understand why God gets the credit for Mom's thoughtful phone calls. Why can't this person just thank his/her mom? Isn't that enough? A mother's love isn't meaningful unless a spiritual entity dialed the number?

Here's another example of misplaced sentiment:

"getting healthy- i've been working on trying to get healthier and i am starting to feel better. thank you god."

Don't thank God. Thank yourself! Or thank the people that gave you support along the way.

It's frustrating that there's all this praise and good will being directed toward an unseen, intangible idea of God. I can't help but think that concentrating that love on ourselves and the people around us would have a more practical impact. People are willing to suspend their disbelief in order to think that God is capable of anything. He can heal the wounded, inspire love and kindness, control the weather, make business meeting go well. But where is the similarly unfailing trust in the abilities of humans? Ok, we can't control the weather, yet... But thanking God for a sunny day is pretty ridiculous, since it implies that he's also responsible for the string of shitty days preceding it.

A final example:

"On Jones Mountain, where its ridgeline cut the sky- Explain God? Can't do it. Experience God? Just open your eyes."

This is a common way to chronicle the existence of God. Co-opt natural beauty as proof of God's presence. The phrase "just open your eyes" is misleading. It should read "just open your eyes where there is a perfect romanticized view of the natural world and no evidence of negative human behavior." Because keeping your eyes open the rest of time might start you wondering why God is putting all of his energy into creating pretty sunsets when there's a lot of suffering going on. It's interesting that none of the bubbles on this site mention anything negative. It's all flowers, sunshine, phone calls from loved ones and comforting sentiments. And that's fine. It's good to focus on the positive. But when everything noble and beautiful is credited to divine providence, then all that's left as a testiment to human responsibility is the shitty stuff. How can we start to forgive ourselves for all the wrong in the world, when all the right gets lumped into His good works?

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And do all your shopping... at Wal-Mart!

Behold the The Most Unwanted Song.

It's the creation of two Russian conceptual artists, Vitaly Komar and Alex Melamid. They surveyed 500 people about their musical preferences. Here's what they discovered:

People don't like tubas, accordians, bagpipes, sopranos, children's choirs, commercial jingles, genocide, cowboys and Holiday songs (along with a litany of other things).

So naturally they put all of these elements together into a 22 minute song. It's FUCKING GREAT! The Ramadan verse is probably my favorite part.

Also of interest. Who knew The Most Wanted Song would sound like a 1993 collaboration between Toni Braxton and Bruce Springsteen?

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Ugh... the worst one yet

The verdict is in, and it's unanimous. The best word to describe last night's Democratic Primary debate is "yecch." The questions were all either of the tabloid headline variety or began with the phrase "answer a definitive yes or no about this ridiculously specific policy detail that no sane politician would commit him/herself to at this stage..."

Clinton turned in a much better performance than Obama, but it's important to remember it's just that, a performance. She could easily go back on any of the pledges she made. Plus, it's hard to imagine that she at heart believes in any the Fox News type attacks that Obama has faced these past few weeks. Especially when she herself decries these tactics when directed at her campaign. Clinton's answers (yes! and here's why...) came across as strong and unequivocal. She can't afford to waffle on questions because she's in 2nd place and needs to overcompensate to gain ground. It worked too! Obama gave more thoughtful, grey-area answers and came across unsure of himself. He said at one point he's trying to have an honest conversation with people. Unfortunately, that doesn't work in a debate forum that insists the candidates act like 30 second Tide commercials. "Small Town Fresh! Remove 8 year old stains! More vibrant whites and colors!"

That said, there was also appeared to be an effort on ABC's part to overcompensate for the media's supposed Obama bias about which Clinton has complained. After SNL (for lack of jokes) decided to carry the theme, it became the conventional wisdom. If there was any truth to the claim, this debate surely overturned the scales. It was the exclamation point to three weeks of inane punditry-driven Obama scandals.

Also, did anyone else noticed that while Clinton was talking they kept cutting to reaction shots of her supporters in the audience (Chelsea, Gen. Clark, Gov. Rendell). When Obama spoke, they would cut to a section of the audience washed with green or blue light. The contrast was stark between Clinton's flesh toned, relatable daughter and the weird alien automatons in business suits. There were probably times when they cut to the Aqua Monsters during Clinton's answers too, but Obama had no recognizable supporters to balance it out.

Run Chelsea! Ed Rendell can't save you now!

Much has been written about the debate's anti-Obama slant, but I have yet to see any comments about a glaring omission. Colombian Trade Deal? They had time to trot out the tired and ridiculous Flag Pin debate but couldn't wedge in one mention of Clinton's husband and campaign advisor cheerleading for a trade agreement that she publicly rails against? If ABC wanted to wallow in scandal questions, they could have at least brought up the one recent incident that's tied to an actual policy issue.

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30 Helens Agree, Barack Obama for President!

White Haired Women For Obama Video Awards

Best Delivery: "Steady"

2nd Place: "He is /jump cut/ intelligent" (They honestly couldn't get a complete take of her saying three words?)

Best Hair: "He's courteous all along"

Best Freestyle Rap: "Without disguise"

One can't help but notice the similarity to another noted group of venerable looking women who were all in concurrence...

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The Bitter End?

I was dismayed yesterday when I arrived at work and began catching up on the Obama's "bitter" remarks he made on Friday. My initial reaction was of anger... at Obama! What the crap, man? You're on the path to the nomination. All you have to do is toe the line until June and wait for the tidalwave of calls for Hillary to get out for the sake of the party. I was even starting to hope for a miraculous near win in Pennsylvania, possibly the big splash that could get that wave rolling. I wondered, has Obama finally let us down in the way his detractors are always warning he will?

I'm not so sure anymore. In reading the fallout from what is now officially Bittergate, I get the sense that Obama's comments weren't terribly offensive to the people that he was supposedly insulting.

The outrage, so far, has come from the "chattering class" taking umbridge on behalf of the small towners Obama talked about. Andrew Sullivan links to a hilarious example here. Just looking at his picture, you can tell this guy has his finger on the pulse of the working class.

This piece is also interesting in that the writer essentially validates Obama's point, but insists that for him to make it is belittling. Indeed, I haven't seen many writings that really disagree with what Obama said. Of course, that depends on what you take his statement to mean. This clips from 2004 looks to me like the point he was trying to make.



The fault is on Obama for restating this in a way that could be so effortlessly misconstrued.

On the flip side, the evidence (again, SO FAR!) indicates that working class people agree with Obama that yes, they are bitter.



From Fox News no less.

And here's Clinton trying to connect with voters over the comment.



Falls pretty flat. Kind of reminds me of another failed attempt to needle Obama.

While I was writing this, a few polls came out that show no major movements away from Obama. I'm sure we'll be hearing about this one for a long time to come, though it seems that Obama hasn't hit an iceberg here. I think we'll see an even better gauge of how this has played out in tomorrow night's debate. There's no question that Clinton's gonna push it as far as she can. And Obama's got a great opportunity to turn this thing around. He was able to parlay the Wright scandal into almost a plus, as it showcased his ability to grapple with incredibly complex deep-rooted American issues. By touching on God and guns in his comment, he'll certainly be walking a path that requires nuanced thought and astute understanding. Let's hope he can thread that needle.

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The Senate's Senate Armed Foreign Services Relations Committee Committee

Yesterday, I spent most of my working hours listening to the Patreus/Crocker testimony to the Senate Armed Services Committee and the Senate Foreign Relations Committee. As all three presidential nominees are sitting Senators, it was a interesting opportunity to contrast them engaging in political action. I missed McCain's questions and haven't caught up on them yet. From what I've read, he didn't say anything too surprising. Below I've posted Clinton and Obama's questions. It's obvious they have essentially the same position. But there are definite differences in the way they frame the discussion.





They both come off highly competent. What strikes me though is how Obama really cuts to the essence of the issue. There will never be zero Iranian influence in Iraq and AQI will always be a potential threat to security. So we are setting ourselves up for defeat (or at least endlessly delayed defeat) if those are the stated goals. I also prefer the way he interacts with Patreus and Crocker. He takes their answers and incorporates them into his questions. It's as if he's really having a dialogue with them, taking into consideration their view point. Obama is a smart guy and knows that it's more effective to talk with someone than at them. He finds the common ground with the two men and works from there. Rather than brow beat them, he makes good on the opportunity to get their perspective on the situation.

In contrast, Clinton spends most of her time giving something close to a stump speech. Following that, she poses some worthy questions, but I don't find them particularly enlightening. The first seems like an excuse to bring up the legislation she put forward. And the second isn't really relevant to the larger conversation.

For me, the two clips underline the distinction between the candidates well. They have essentially the same policy goals, but I can't help but think that one of them is much more skilled communicator and problem solver.

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Nought

I came across this website whilst working today.

www.none.net

Accurate! And rather poetic if it's unintentional.

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It's 3am and people are trying to kill and/or bankrupt your children.

Alright, time to make an attempt at a real post.

Let's start with Hillary Clinton's new "3 a.m." It's the same as her ad proposing that a world crisis could erupt in the middle of the night, only "this time the crisis is economic." Cut to shots of blue tinted people looking at bills and mortgage papers. Because there's nothing more romantic than financial hand wringing by moonlight. And then we get the resolution shot of Clinton wearing glasses (with desk lamp lit!) as a knock-off John Williams score swells in the background.

It's hard to imagine how an economic crisis happens all of sudden, out of the blue, in the middle of night when everyone's asleep. But presumably the crisis ends around 4:15 am, after Clinton flies to the Economic Evil Doer's secret mountaintop lair, punches him the gut, gives him a stern lecture about responsible financial planning and returns the swindled money back to the bank accounts of citizens everywhere. When America wakes up at 6:30, it's like the whole thing never happened. Clinton manages to fly back through her bedroom window just before her advisors enter for her daily briefing. "Awfully quiet night, eh Madame President? Did you sleep well?"

"Oh, I slept just fine," she says with a wink to no one in particular.

Pretty airtight argument.

The image of Clinton as some kind of bureaucratic supergenius is pretty ridiculous. This "red phone" series of ads is certainly in line with her campaign's strategy of "say it enough times and eventually people will assume it's true." The experience bluff is wearing thin. She finally got called out on it over the Bosnia lie, yet a swath of voters continue to buy their pitch. I don't understand how polls show that people trust her more on health care (when she's already fucked it up once) and the economy (when NAFTA was a hallmark of the Clinton administration and is about as popular as bubonic plague among white blue collar workers). Things seemed to have cooled off between her and Obama for the moment. But I imagine things are going to get nasty as April 22 draws near.

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I (em)bedded Jeff Goldblum.

Of course, I had to get him drunk first.

Dark, Rainy, Depressing...

Garfield minus Garfield

A rather insipid lasagne-joke laden comic is transformed into an absurdist, emotionally raw look at modernity, loneliness and bi-polar disorder. The funniest post-modern art since G.I. Joe.

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Toe in Water

I set up this blog a couple of months ago and have yet to post anything. So I'm going to try easing into this thing, like a scalding hot tub at a road side motel, by posting links to impactful bits of web based media.

To start things off, I have to make an announcement. Should Barack Obama lose the Democratic Primary, I will have no choice but to support Mike Gravel for President. Because Mikey G knows that America's problems today can summed up by a little English ditty written 40 years ago.

He's miles above you.

Gravel/Shatner '08

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