One Two Three Shoot!

The other day, my improv group had a fantastic workshop rehearsal with a notable Chicago improvisor. The improv scene here is very much an incestuous subculture, so most people wouldn't recognize his name if mentioned. It's at times disheartening to think that the people who have achieved the dizzying heights of improv success that I hope to reach one day aren't millionaire celebrities. They're just really hilarious, artistic individuals living and working in Chicago. And I'm pretty much okay with that. Plus if I'm ever feeling as though I'm wasting my life, there are activities much farther on the fringe

Take the World RPS Society. It's an organization devoted to the cultural sustainment of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Apparently advanced RPS players have tournaments, coaches, strategies, girlfriends, judges, etc.* just like in any other sport!

(Quick note about coaches: the World RPS Society suggests that when choosing a trainer you should "beware of charlatans" who have "never been either a competitor or referee and have no qualifications to speak of." The legit coaches are totally worth the money though!)

As anyone who's spent a few minutes perusing the WRPSS website knows, the biggest advance to ever hit the RPS world is the Gambit. RPS matches are officially played in best 2 of out 3 scenarios and Gambits are predetermined combinations a player can throw. Below are a sample of my favorites.

"A subtle, yet aggressive Gambit. It was the first of the Triple Gambits developed in the early 1890s. The Avalanche is a relentless and devastating offensive maneuver, which requires bravado bordering on recklessness to execute."

"This move took the 1967 RPS World Championships by surprise and is arguably still one of the great surprise offensive moves. The rapid switch from offensive to defensive play can force an opponent into a vulnerable spot."

"Effective use of the Toolbox requires steady hands and steely nerves. Given the puerile popularity of Rock, this Gambit is not suggested for use against beginners."

And my own addition:

The Titular lays it all out on the table. By simply mimicking the order of the game's name, this Gambit is ingenious in it's obviousness. The quick interplay between offense and defense will confuse your opponent into submission. But only the most skilled players will have the balls to see this move through to its iconic conclusion.

*one of these items is a lie