Not THAT Kind of Cheer

During the primaries last year, I was amazed by Fred Thompson. He spoke only in the broadest of platitudes. In the debates, his answers were feebly cobbled together from buzz words and colloquialisms. They had zero substance. One of my favorites was when he was asked how to beat Obama in the general election. "He's a liberal" was the gist of his answer. Wow. Keen insight, Fred.

I found this video today, which seems to have been made sometime in December. Despite his acting background, Fred attempting humor falls just as flat as Fred attempting relevant thought.



First off, "Weeelllll, I'm Fred Thompson." Awesome start! But could've been better with the addition of "Howdy partner. Why don't ya pull up bar stool so I can bend yer ear for a spell?"

Next, I'm relieved he's not talkin' bout THAT kind of cheer. PHEW! You don't even want to know what kind of vile, perverted cheer I was imagining. In fact, I'm delighted that the cheer he's talkin' bout is good ol' fashioned sarcasm. Bitter, stale, cheerful sarcasm.

If Pappy Fred's comedy stylings are too edgy for you, allow me to summarize. Here's a list of casualties to his biting wit: digging holes, dropping money from airplanes, fat people eating donuts, "experts", printing money. I agree that Obama should feel particularly dumb for wanting to dump cash out of airplanes and listening to experts. Of course, this caustic message of holiday cheer wouldn't be complete without a rousing, ironic "Yes We Can." Way to skewer those fools who thought that message would resonate with voters.